Grown Up Angst

I FINALLY have a bed that is NOT a twin, with TWO pillows, and my stupid sheet set only came with ONE pillowcase. I was complaining about this to my friend Naz on the phone, and she suggested that I use an old baggy shirt until I got around to getting new pillowcases. I knew I was saving that free "10 Ways to Spot a Law Student" shirt I got my 1L year for a reason. When I start feeling like a hot shot in my new grown up bed, all I have to do is look down at my pillow and I'll immediately feel lame.

New job that starts next week, new car, new place. I'm thoroughly excited, yet overwhelmed. Having a billion things to do creates a very inconvenient paralysis. Also, I am being thrust into adulthood, a state of being that I have religiously avoided far far far beyond my 18th or 21st birthdays, all at once. It is TERRIFYING. Driving my new little hybrid on streets that make absolutely no sense and getting lost in neighborhoods where there is no room for two cars traveling in opposite directions to pass each other is bewildering. The amount of money, time, and energy it takes to furnish and set up a tiny room in a house is astonishing. And realizing that I am going to start a job next week that comes with a large amount of responsibility is sobering.

Being an adult is an involved process, in that involves a lot of me freaking out and wondering if I can hack it. Also, I've spent seven of the last nine years of my life in school preparing to be something other than what I was. Now, life is suddenly falling into place. My journey hasn't ended yet, but I'm at a significant stop on the way. It's time to stop trudging on the road to somewhere else and camp out for a while. I only hope I can set up the damn tent.